good morning.
and a good morning it is.
i woke up late today,
surprised?
nope.
it's thursday, which means, i always wake up late.
getting to school by 10 is.. not okay.
for me? it's too damn early.

i got out of bed, reluctantly, showered, made coffee.
ya know.
the usual.

and then! and then! and then!
a magical thought came over me.
i don't HAVE to go to school today!
yeeeeeeeee!
i mean.. it would probably be beneficial for me to go and sit in class and wish i was somewhere else.
OR! i could actually BE somewhere else!
so. that's what i am doing right now.
i am somewhere else.
other than class.
i am on my couch.
with my coffee.
helga is being a freak, again.. so surprise.

anyway.
moving right along.

i am doing a 30 day experiment.
a... detox of sorts.
i am going to refrain from going into the mass details of this little project.
however, it started on november 1st, ending (tentatively) november 30th.
i say tentatively because this project may not end at all you see.
it may continue into the other days of my life.. or it may not.
we'll see.
for now.. i'm sticking with 30 days.
mmmmmm. yes. 30 days of beautiful growth.

helga is chasing her tail. i love it.
so entertaining.
and, i slept on my back weird because it hurts. in the middle-ish, next to my right shoulder blade.
okay good.
glad i got that one covered.

SO! okay. okay okay!!!!!!!
mental health day from school. i love these.
i have so many things to mention.
like..
throughout the remainder of my 30 project, which is now day 4 :) and i'm doing great!
as i said.. throughout the remainder of my project,
i am going to be challenging myself to blog everyday.
it is a good release for me,
just to get my rambling thoughts outside of my head so i am able to think clearer.
and as a matter of fact, this project IS all about myself being able to think clearer. and. so far, so good.
so.
okay.
where was i..
thinking clearly. oh yes.
getting my little thoughts out.
good.
okay.
so today..
here is the plan.
or something.

i want to go to the library.
i love the denver public library.
it's huge and mysterious.
and so fun.
i'm going to be searching for magazines!
and books on zenful existence, and some new tunes that will brighten my life.
sounds good, yes?
YES!

along with daily blogging,
i am also attempting to attach a photo each day.
i'm not necessarily doubting my abilities to follow through with this blogging business, but.. it is certainly going to be a challenge.

i have to work tonight..
but i think it will be good.
i'm already dreading it, but that is because i have a bad attitude.
let's see..
other than the library.. i don't really have any other plans for the day.
but the universe will guide me i'm fairly certain.

alas,
i am leaving with a photo of one of my new favorite pastimes..
hooping :)

much love

find your freedom in truth and reeeelease your worries.


FEAR NOTHING
for


YOU

ARE


EXTRAORDINARY.

forget this day for growth and wisdom come in with the sun.
when i am weak
i'm strong.

when i need to weep

i will.



there is no
wrong
in being different


LIFE IS MAGICAL

what i need will come when i am ready to receive it



:)

thievery corporation station on pandora? YUM.
gets me every fucking time.

so. hi.
recently..
i've been speaking to the universe.
and attempting at practicing silence,
in order to let the universe speak to me.
and good god damn. it works.
i told the universe to take over today.
i was cleaning my apartment ((mmmmm yesssss clean apartment))
and feeling stressed about.. things.
so. i wrote a list. of all of things i need/want to do.
then.. i put the list down and said..
universe.. please take over my day.
and let's just say that it did.
holy. cow.
i am exhausted.
today was incredible.
slash everyday is pretty incredible.
i dunno how it happened but my life went from being pretty same ol same ol to FUCKING INCREDIBLE AND EVERYDAY IS A MAGIC JOURNEY.
sometime in the last 2 years this magic journey transformation.

a mind that is stretched to a new idea will never return to it's original dimension.

aint that the TRUTH.
once my mind was exposed to new thoughts
ideas
colors
sounds
sights
people
streets
flowers
tunes
and everything else....


i just can't explain the way i feel sometimes.
i am incredibly lucky to be living the life that i do.

actually strike that.
maybe life could be this wonderful for a lot more people if they started focusing on different things..
because my life transformation definitely began with a transformation of my mind.

yummmmmmm ice water. with. a. straw.

yesterday, i was picking up my apartment, (how heavenly it is when my life is clean and orderly), and it happened. ya know. it.

that feeling. a rush of sorts.
i knew i had to drop everything i was doing and pick up a pen, or i would lose what i was thinking about.

here is what i wrote:

to consider: what DO i want?

what are some positive steps i can take to move towards getting what i want?

what am i striving for?

who do i want to become?

where do i want to be?

what do i want my mind to look like?

what feeling am i trying to accomplish?



so, i was thinking about this list just now, and i figure, no time better than the present, right?

what do i want?

i want to love myself. un fucking conditionally.
i want to understand, everyday, all the time, without a doubt that i am. it is. we are. everything will be. and everything is always done with divine timing.
i want to set goals and believe in myself enough to accomplish them.
i want to actually put money in my savings account. every time i get paid.
i want to find a job that, not only do i not hate, but actually enjoy.
i want to develop solidify a feeling of confidence.
because i am enough, god damnit.

on THAT note.. i had to give a persuasive speech this week in class.
i struggled to find a topic that i actually gave a shit about enough to really come across with real passion.
so.. i chose television and attempted to persuade my class to turn. it. off.
one of the things that was striking to me during the whole practice of thinking about a topic, writing the speech, editing it, reading it, memorizing it, practicing practicing practicing it, and then finally delivering it to my class.. something happened. one of the things i despise the most about television and the media in general is projecting an image to men and women alike of a certain body type..hair color.. etc... so after chatting about that for a second in my speech i spoke the words, "the most important thing i have learned from not watching television, is that i am enough. just because i am me".

those are not words that i speak to myself often enough.
hell, it's usually the opposite.
which is so fucked up.
sometimes i get so wrapped up in the crazy spin cycle of negative thought it is absolutely unreal.
however, i am starting to be able to recognize when i am being incredibly hateful to myself and attempting to turn that frown upside down and allow myself to focus on the positive.

i AM enough.
i am wicked smart.
i am a gosh darn HONOR STUDENT. (so EFF YOU to that woman who said i WASNT COLLEGE MATERIAL)
i can go anywhere i want and do anything i can dream of.
i can dream until my heart feels like it will take flight.
i can fulfill my dreams, or simply allow them to be dreams.
it's all up to me.
i can read and write and sing and laugh and dance and cry and speak and tremble and hike and scream and play and cook and feel the sunshine beaming down on my skin.
i can do anything.
anything. anything anything.
i just have to believe it.
i have to believe that i can do it.
because in my mind, in my deep soul of souls waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down there..
i know i can.
but this weird voice pushes me away from my ultimate truth.

and my ultimate truth is?

succeed. by all means. succeed.
i have an entire other philosophy about success that i will save for another time.

as well as the rest of my unanswered questions.. another day i suppose.

i am going to strap myself down to do math homework. because i am dreading it more and more every second. and that is no way to live.

<3 <3 <3

meeowwww

things already completed today::

mad crazy fun time with helga at the park.



things that need to be completed today::

labs 7, 8, and 9 for psych.
math homework.
plan persuasive speech.
french workbook.
thrift store shopping for summer clothes!!
grocery shop.
clean bathroom.
return redbox movie.
most importantly, drink coffee. which is about to begin.

ohhhhhhhhh today how i love you.
monday's are great days to have off.

that's my vibe.

currently fucking obsessed with this song:::

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaVi_t_smTc&feature=channel



god bless the WEST COAST for pouring over me and exposing a beautiful side of my mind.

aint it grand when that happens? mmmmmm. san francisco. i love you.

sha la la

woooooooooahhh note ::::: so i cant figure out why these pictures are showing up so huge?? i suppose if you click them you can see the whole thing? uhh i dont know. damn. i'll figure it out another day.


another lovely day.
denver, what a place.

so, i broke down and bought a camera. yeeehaw!!
im super stoked on it.
and now i am able to display the treehouse i referred to..



my kitchen.
although you are unable to fully grasp the true wonderment of the treehouse itself, a little sliver of it should be suffice.

ahhh yes.

i just returned from a trip to target..
where i purchased things of the travel sized nature.



because tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow is my trip to the big city!!!
where i will be visiting this lovely fellow..



alas, i must go. packing time, cleaning time, lunch time, then work time.

moohoohooo

ghost cows on the prowl.


okay. so. i think that today might be one of those magical days!!!
allow me to explain myself::

helga woke me up at six to potty (im telling you..she is the smartest puppy in the universe)

here she is..



so after a small stroll in the snowy march morning, i plopped her into bed with me (she sleeps in her kennel like a good girl all night), so i figure once she's up in the morning, it's helga and momma cuddle time.

i didn't end up going back to sleep, instead helga and i had massive play time until like 930.. all of a sudden it was freakin 930. so she had breakfast, we had our real morning walk and she promptly fell asleep and is now snoring on my couch.

i made my very first omelet ever with green peppers and onions, and topped with salsa and swiss (holy shit. it was so delish), along with coffee...of course. if i had a camera i would totally add a picture. helga pics thanks to my fabulous across the hall neighbor.. jes!!


so here i am. loving my life. again.

mama tried is playing.. listen to it here..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEizEzCI2Gk

sitting in the treehouse. (ughhh i fucking wish i could post a picture of the treehouse right now)


btw..the treehouse is my apartment. the rationale behind this name is this..
i live on the top floor of my apartment building.. THE AMBASSADORRRRRR... and i took the screens out of my windows. and there is a large tree right across from my windows. so.. i live in a treehouse.

so, im sitting in the treehouse, listening to a quirky mix of tunes, helga is snoring and i don't have to work until five tonight. OH! and did i add?? it's snowing!!
IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!! the snow makes my heart burst with love and excitement and all things joyous..

AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going to SAN FRANCISCO ON MONDAY!!!! san fran san fran san fran san fran!!!! i cannot wait. i seriously just might go into cardiac arrest on the airplane from way too much excitement about this trip. forecast in san fran next week?? 60's and sunny BITCHES!!!

and. okay. and another thing.
i have straight fucking A's and i will be inducted into the.. hahaha i just started typing "hall of fame" but that's is not what i meant, clearly. i will be inducted into phi theta kappa, which is the "international honor society" for 2 year colleges. so even though this is my last semester at the community college.. i worked my ASS off to get good grades.. (only one B the entire time, the rest C's.. just kidding, the rest A's!!!!)

needless to say. things are good. things are great. things are fucking magical.

peace love and tutu's

katherine